Apologies

When was the last time I blogged?
When was the last time I blogged in English?
I wondered?
I forgot...

Why?
How?
What?
Who?
Where?
When?

All these questions never stop to bother me...
I was drowned...
By the exam,
By friendship,
By everything...
Sometimes I can just leave all of you on your own...
But I cant...
I never have the courage...
I never stop to worry about you...
I never leave you...
This is the reason I am frustrated...

When can I lead a happy and trouble-free life?
When can I live without fear & worries?
When can I find everything good in this world?
When can I free from everything bad...?

Stop questioning!
Please do not make yourself even more upset...
Do not ask yourself questions which you have not found out the solution...

It was the exam...
It is the root of all these problems...
Yes, I neglect everything and everyone around me during the exam...
Health, family, friends...
I slept late...
I kept myself in the room...
I seldom communicated with my friends...
I am sorry!
I did not realize during these times...
I account for my own health...
I do interact with my family...
But all these times, I found out that,
I let my friends down...
I was not there when they need me...
I was not able to help them in their difficulties...
I was helpless...
I was selfish...

Especially to somebody,
I created troubles for them...
I made them living in depression
I hurt them...
Please help me to find back myself...
Where I can be the Chong Wen Hui that all of you known...
I am stressed...
Who is willing to turn the stressed for me?
So that I can enjoy desserts?

By the way,
If you ever read this blog,
Do not attempt to comfort or persuade me,
I will be fine...
I will be strong...
I will be joyful...
After all these, I have done enough...
It is time to get back what I deserved...